Classic Game Review - Maybe the most classic of them all, Final Fantasy II (IV to those in the know)

Alright, first a bit of an introduction about the long and somewhat confusing history of Final Fantasy, to those people who still want to read my hilarious take on the world of video gamedom, but may not be in the know about just what the heck a Final Fantasy is. In the first place, there will never actually be a Final Final Fantasy. All of us gamer nerds are squealing like little school girls in anticipation of Final Fantasy THIRTEEN, which may or may not be here by the end of the year (probably not, next year most likely, probably summertime, which is good, because theres usually about MAYBE 3-4 good games that come out all summer most years), mainly because its a Final Fantasy game and those are the equivalent of a new Star Wars or (something I myself might even squeal more about) a Harry Potter movie. Look at me, being all topical since the new Hp just came out this week. But ANYWAYS, so Final Fantasy all started back in the days of Nintendo, or Famicon if you lived in Japan and got 100 times more awesome games than we did here. Final Fantasy 1 came here, and it was some people's first taste of what an RPG was, sure some of us had played Dragon Warrior before it, but Final Fantasy actually let you (kinda) create the people you wanted to fight with you, making it a bit more personal. The story today is pretty much standard fare - you got four big evil boss dudes that you need to waste in order to take on the bigger evil boss dude. I think theres a princess in distress and a dark elf in there somewhere too, but its been a while. So Final Fantasy 1 made its impact, but apparently not enough of an impact here, because II and III were made for the Famicom in Japan, but didn't come here at all (we didn't see the ACTUAL II until it came out for Playstation, and III took even longer when it was released on the DS a few years ago).

So the next one we got was actually Final Fantasy IV, but so that parents didn't have to deal with their kids whining about wanting Final Fantasy II and III since they didn't exist here, they just renamed it II, and brought it to Super Nintendo. Now, some people think II is the best Final Fantasy - MOST people think that VII on Playstation was the best, and I am MOST ASSUREDLY not one of those people, but I've had (nerd) arguments about which one is better, II or III. II was the first real RPG here to bring us an actual story, and a narrative with characters that we cared about. Maybe it's just me, but I never cared much about the dude in Dragon Warrior, roaming the countryside killing roughly 916,000,000,000 slimes (poor slimes, what did they ever do to anyone?) and I think trying to save the princess (they usually are). But II, man, that game had heart. It had the old dude, Tellah, who loses his daughter early on to the evil thats taking over the planet, and he thinks a "spoony bard" (his words, not mine - what the hell is a spoony bard anyways? Next time someone pisses you off, call them spoony and see what happens) was behind it, and wants to avenge her. Move over Gandalf, because Tellah was such an old badass that he ends up giving his own life to cast the most insane spell on the planet against who is apparently the most evil dude on the planet. Meanwhile what did Gandalf do in the LOTR movies? He pushed around some dudes with his staff. LAME! Oh and he fought Saruman I guess, I suppose thats neat. But anyways, that old dude Tellah, was just one side note to the incredible characters in Final Fantasy II - the main character, Cecil, even starts out as a bad guy, but in what was maybe the first truly "moving" scene in video games, he ends up fighting his former dark knight self to become a Paladin of the light. How cool is THAT? And that happens pretty early on in the game. In Final Fantasy 1 you created your characters from a set number of classes, and what really kept me going the first time through was that they eventually get "promoted" and become even better masters of kickassery. In FFII you don't get to pick the classes, but some people still get promoted - the main example of this is Rydia, the girl you meet at the beginning, when you burn down her freakin' village (told you Cecil started out evil - but in his defense, he didn't know the big box the posessed king gave him, that likely said "BOX O EVIL - DO NOT OPEN TIL' XMAS" was going to burn down a whole freakin' village and kill everyone but Rydia). She starts out basically a weak little girl with a gift (you know, that old chestnut), the gift of summoning monsters to have other people fight for her, but at first all she can summon is a measly little chocobo (for those that have never played an FF, that's pretty much the equivalent of having Big Bird come and fight your battles for - give me Snufflufagus any day, he was awesome). Later on in the game you end up seperated from her (because you are out on the sea and get attacked by a freakin' LEVAITHAN! Thats a huge sea monster, ladies and gentleman, I mean really, how cool IS this game?), but when you meet her again, shes all grown up into a lady, and a lady that has learned a lot and can kick a whole BUNCH more ass than she could as a kid. This game is where a lot of the staples of the Final Fantasy genre originated too - Rydia can eventually summon Bahamut, who is pretty much the king of all the dragons, a big (I think hes usually black, but hes been in a lot of the games) sweet lookin' dragon that casts pleasantly named spells like MEGA FLARE and NUKE. Then theres Ifrit, the fire god who...well I think you should know what he does, Shiva, the goddess of Ice (who is usually hot in the later ones, when we had better graphics), and it's been a while, but I think Rydia even later learns how to control Levaithan, that sea beast that sinks your ship in the game.

I haven't even talked about all the characters yet and you should already be realizing that this game is awesome and pretty much turned us gaming nerds into rabid RPG fanatics for the rest of our lives, but basically there is a karate dude that don't need no stinkin' weapons, he just kicks all the enemies in their face and fights with his fists (I'd imagine that might sting a little when you fight one of them stone ogre's or something, but Yang never seemed to complain - the Bruce Lee of RPGs), theres the two smart mouthed twins who happen to be some of the best magicians on the planet, and theres even a surprise towards the end of the game - where you end up on the damn MOON. That's right, FFII can't even be contained to one measly little planet. You end up there towards the end of the game and you meet a guy that Dumbledore is totally trying to jock, FuSoya. The problem with FuSoya is, hes such an extreme badass that he kinda makes Tellah's sacrfice to cast the ultimate spell, Meteo, a bit of a joke. FuSoya can slang Meteo all day long, but then I guess there probably isn't much to do up there on the moon except for learn new magic spells (not a bad life, I'd have to say) and fight Behemoths (big ol' monster dudes that kinda look like the offspring of a dragon and...well, something else as cool as a dragon, but not a dragon). So you end up on the moon, and this is where the game falls apart a bit - FFII actually created another RPG convention here, and that is the ol' last boss switcheroo. Here you spend 20 some hours (it was probably more as a kid) thinking that you want to waste this Golbez dude who is the source of all the evil on the planet, but instead, FuSoya goes and fights him and you and your crew end up fighting some....Chaos...thingie....for the last fight? You don't even get to control the fight with FuSoya, you just fight this Chaos blob thing. However, this lame last fight isn't enough to sully the entire game - the writers of this game knew what they were doing, there are a few times where you think you might have lost one of your party members forever, only to see them show up later - I'm man enough to admit that I think I cried the first time I saw Tellah die to try and save the world, that's some hardcore stuff, man - but most everyone else makes it through to the end. But like I said (quite) a while ago, this game has heart. And that is why, while it isn't my favorite Final Fantasy ever (that's part III, and a review for another time!), it deserves its place among the classics, and it's story alone is yet another reason to go punch Roger Ebert in the face for saying video games can never be art, because this game is over 20 years old and it's still incredible. Maybe I should send him an email and direct him over to this...

But anyways, I'll break down how all the Final Fantasies are numbered here, so if you are already a gamer dork, move on through to my score for the game, but to those who don't understand how there are 13, but I'm talking about II, except I'm actually talking about IV, heres how it goes - I is actually part 1, we got that one. II and III were Japan only for a loooong time, and only after the monstrous entity that was FFVII came here did Square even consider publishing them over here. So, IV was for the Super Famicom over there, and we got it here as II. We didn't get Final Fantasy V until a compliation on Playstation many years later either, but that was originally for Super Famicom, too. VI was what we got as Final Fantasy III here, and thats my favorite one ever. We finally started getting them all after VII, which is in my humble opinion INCREDIBLY over rated and NOT the best FF by a long shot. So we got VII, VIII, and IX all on Playstation, and the original II and V were released on that too. So after we had them all but the actual III, they started naming them the correct way - Final Fantasy II has been released and re-released so many times its ridiculous, but honestly, the definitive experience would probably be Final Fantasy IV on the DS. For that one, they re did all of those (kinda lame by today's standards) 16-bit sprite graphics and made it all fancy and 3-D like. It also had voices for some parts, which was the best part of the update for me. It also featured an absolutely incredible opening animation with the definitive Final Fantasy jams that makes it worth the purchase price alone. I actually got a chill the first time I watched this and I know what you are thinking but yes, I'm fully aware that I'm a nerd. I'm going to review the original super nintendo one here because I'm a purist, but to those who are new to gaming, go out and buy yourself the DS one immediately, and thank me later. So that basically ends the history of FF games, since 7 on we've gotten them all and they renamed the old ones too. Oh, there was a real turd of game that was released here too called Final Fantasy Mystic Quest, which I think was called just Final Fantasy Kids or Easy or somethin like that in Japan, but you can just stay away from that stinkpile and forget that it ever existed.

Alright, so this rant and rave about the amazingness that is and was Final Fantasy II - can I just call it IV from now on? Ok, thanks. But the greatness of IV has been pretty well known by most gamers for quite a few years, except maybe for those youngins that haven't played games for very long - hell a gamer of nine years started in 2000! Which makes me feel incredibly old, but thats perhaps because I AM old. But I think I've said enough about the story and the characters, hows about we break down the score now? Remember, I'm going with the super nintendo one here, really the only thing that would change (which means, be higher) as far as a score is concerned for the DS version would be the graphics and the sound.

Graphics - Ok, before I give a score, heres where we hit a snag. For someone that you are trying to impress, perhaps try to get them to love video games half as much as you do, well, don't show them this game first. Start with something pretty, like say...Heavenly Sword, Metal Gear Solid 4, or the beautiful Valkirya Chronicles (which, being my favorite game I have ever played, I can assure you will be discussed sometime soon) to tell your friends DOOD! Look at how pretty this game is, it's prettier than most girls! Or...something. Final Fantasy IV is NOT the game to do that with. It features old, crusty, 16-bit sprite graphics, that if you ever try to play on a 50'' or above TV, you will probably cringe at the results. It can be done, but its not pretty. For its time however, it WAS pretty - you had a cast of original looking characters, some decent backgrounds, and a hell of a lot of places to go and look at. So, if we are talking about the time frame it was released in, well then, easily an 8/10 (Zelda 3, a Link to the Past, would be coming out soon after this and that game was far prettier for super nintendo). However, if we are talking about todays standards, in the world of sweet particle effects, anti-aliasing (no connection with the cool show that made Jennifer Garner famous), advanced lighting, and...other fancy game maker words (I'm not one of those, but I know someone who is! She can tell you more terms), then I'd get about a solid 4/10, and I'm probably being generous. Come for the sweet story and the characters you'll actually care about, but you won't want to stay for the graphics.

Sound - 10/10. This applies to then as it does now. The soundtrack to this game is absolutely amazing and incredible, so much so that I have seen parts of it conducted by a symphony, and where that symphony of Final Fantasy pieces go, a sold out crowd follows. I guess for the DS you'd give it a 12 then, because it has remastered music AND voices (that are actually well done). This and a few others FFs after this were done by the great Nobou Uematsu, who is more or less the Beethoven of video game music. If that doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment to you, well then go buy one of the soundtracks to any of his games(I think his last one was 8? But I might be wrong) and feel free to come over to my house and I'll slap you in the face personally for ever doubting that video game music can be as masterful as symphonic music.

Challenge - 7/10. It's not impossible. But that being said, this one came straight from Japan (as pretty much all the classic games back then did), which means, LOTS AND LOTS OF RANDOM ENCOUNTERS. You'll walk a few steps on the map, BAM attacked. Sometimes you'll walk ten or twenty steps and think hell yeah! this isn't so bad. For your insolence, BAM you get attacked once each for the next three steps. It is NOT cool. But it's also not impossible. Rarely will you find yourself truly pissed off at an encounter (except at that stupid Demon Wall toward the end, GOD!), and it never really requires too much busy work to get to the next area or part of the story. There have been much more challenging RPGs out there (*cough* Valkirya Chronicles! *cough*), which is good really, because this game (as most FFs) is all about the story anyways.

Fun - 8/10. I can't give it a perfect score, because cmon man, those random encounters get pretty old. But I can pretty much assure that if you make it past the awesome opening jams at the Castle of Baron, traverse through the Cave of Mist and end up seeing Cecil open up that big ol' box o' evil up on that town and see it laid to waste, you will be hooked. I remember as a kid I couldn't put the freakin' controller down, I probably even got grounded for playing this game too much (my mom was a real hardass). The story alone will keep you playing til' the end, and even when it hits you with a left hook at the end by giving you some lame weirdo blob boss, you won't mind much, because a great man once said "it's the journey, not the destination, that truly matters". Also, Journey was a sweet band.

Overall - 9/10. Like I said, it's not totally perfect, but what game truly is? Just like any great movie, it has its flaws (those godforsaken random encounters! *shakes fist*), but its all about the story here. If you rated it on story alone, this would get a 17/10. But I'm not here to review the story, I'm here to review it all.

So thats what I got for my first official classic review. Comments are appreciated - perhaps if someone doesn't like the things I am grading here, if you want one added, if I'm too long winded and not making you laugh enough, you good folks out there let me know!

Stay tuned for my first crap game review, which will probably be that steaming pile known as Superman for the Nintendo 64, or maybe something more rare...like Dragonball GT Final Bout for the Playstation! Shoooo wee did that game ever suck.

Oh...one last thing, check THIS out, my first link! Go to this website if you want to read a pretty great web comic about the first Final Fantasy, featuring a completely psychotic black mage who provides most of the (insane) comic relief - http://www.nuklearpower.com/8-bit-theater/
Plus, the dude who writes it isn't related to me, but totally almost has the same last name as me! Weeeeeird.