Friday night...a time for...reviewing a couple games! Final Fantasy: Dissidia is first.

Alright, so I'm not gonna post a picture of the graphics for this yet because, anyone who isn't familiar with Final Fantasy - and I'd like to think just about anyone, even non-gamers, know of the massive entity/cash machine that is Final Fantasy - needs to know that, these games have freakin' character. Panache even. Pizazz. The characters all stand out in some way, either by being incredibly homoerotic and having questionable sexuality (looking at you, Bartz, Firion!) or by being so badass and hardcore that people will be using their names and likenesses to make up for their own lack of originality for years to come (mostly Sephiroth here, although for me, it'd be Kefka). Game has style. I pretty much guarantee you will find at least a couple of the people in that gaggle there to be pretty awesome and fit your particular idea of what is awesome. A dude with a sword...that is also a freakin' GUN? Yeah, hes in there. His names Squall. Dudes with bigass swords that no possible mortal could lift, let alone swing at some jerk? Uh huh, theres a couple of those. Scantily clad chics that can fling a fireball or blizzard your way while you are trying to look up their skirt? They are in here too. In short, this series has generated a whole mess of memorable characters, and the general idea with this game - which is a PSP exclusive, and believe you me, you won't find many of those! Especially good ones! But the general idea with this one is, throw em all in here, and let em fight amongst themselves.

So the main question on everyone's mind would probably first be, well, does it work? And the answer is yeah, it does...pretty much. If you look at just the "fighting" aspect of this game, things can get a little simple. You have two different attack buttons, and three different attacks for each button. You have your bravery attacks. Those are the ones that may be a little common, a swing of the sword, chucking a boomerang to bring someone back to you so you can swing said sword at them, possibly chucking a spear at someone in the air, etc. These are to take away your opponents bravery points, preferabbly down to zero, so then you can mess them up with your HP attacks. HP, as pretty much anyone that has played nearly any video game should know, stands for hit points. This is what you have to take to zero so you can win. The HP attacks are usually a bit more fancy. This is where that short skirted cutie (her name is Ehlana) will toss a freakin' flood at your ass, or something equally spectacular. This is how you win. And heres one of the problems with the game: you don't get a whole mess of options with your cool HP attacks. Yeah its awesome the first few times you mess someone up with that flood, but by about the 150th time, you'll be thinking man....can't I get some other awesome attack to waste people? And the answer is not for a very, very long time. You see, you can level up each of your heroes in this game, I think all the way up to 50...but when you play through each persons story, you are lucky to get them to around level 12-16ish. I've beaten it with five people (even two of the androgynous weirdos, I don't discriminate) and I still have the same two attacks with everyone. It's not cool. HOWEVER - is this a gamebreaker? Of course not. You'll be a little annoyed by it after a while, but you'll also be impressed by what this game has to give you. Which is a lot.

And since I usually start with graphics but I began with (one of my few) complaints about the game, now I'll talk about the graphics. I'll just put it out there right now - this is probably the best looking game you'll play on the PSP. Maybe not ever (we do have a new Gran Turismo coming out for it next month, after all), but definitely really, really pretty stuff. Better than you'd see on a PS2, for sure. And thats saying something for a handheld system. The effects are cool, the spells and attacks, while repetitive after a while, are impressive, and fights stay fast and intense without ever slowing down. It's really good stuff, and nearly worth the price of admission alone.

But thats the good thing - unlike some crap games for the PSP (and HOO, man, wow, are there sure a lot of those, yikes), this isn't just a showpiece that your friends can ooh and aah at, but not much else. Theres a lot here to do. So you have ten heroes and ten bad guys, with basically one from each of the past final fantasies, all the way up to 10 (nobody from 12, sorry). You get the "Warrior of Light" from Final Fantasy 1, since that didn't really have any characters except the ones you created. You get the slightly metrosexual Firion from 2, the aforementioned short skirted cutie/magical badass Ehlana from 3 (which was actually 6, remember), Cecil the Dark Knight from IV, and so on. It's all good stuff. If you like that over rated whiney jerk from FF7 Cloud, hes in here too. If you like the under rated monkey...type guy from FF9 Zidane, hes here too. Basically, the main characters you remember from those old Final Fantasies are in here, and guess what? Each one of em has their own stories. Thats what we call replayability. Yes, most of the stories cover familiar ground - Ehlana has to figure out what to do with her powers, for instance. She already had to do that in FF6. Squall has to decide whether his friends really matter to him or if he wants to stay a loner. Yes, same dilemma from FF8. Doesn't matter, its all packed in there and the fact that everyone has their own tale is impressive in its own right. It all culminates to a specific "Dissidia" ending about the battle between Chaos and that (hottie) Cosmos on the side of light. It's maybe a little basic, but its very cool stuff.

<----You may ask yourself this same question once or twice during the stories, but honestly, it doesn't matter a whole lot. Since you have TEN different stories to play out, obviously they aren't going to be the deepest affairs, but thats ok. The gameplay is definitely there, and there a whole MESS of things to unlock and items to buy, not to mention abilities to acquire, summons to get and equip, etc., etc., etc. This game could very well consume your life if you want it to, and that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, when it comes to great PSP games, its always been slim pickins. We're talkin, one MAYBE two great games a year. And this one could very well be THE best PSP game thats been released in its something like five year life cycle, and thats...well, there are bigger feats in the world of video games (have you read my Valkirya Chronicles review yet, for instance? You should.), but still, an impressive offering from good ol' Square Enix. Before I get on with my scores however, heres another douchebag alert, similar to the one from Shadow Complex. I certainly hope that this doesn't become a common section for my reviews, but this idiot just cannot be ignored. Look at his stupid little flowery hat. Hes also like 4 feet tall. Look at his pansy ass sword. Look at his goofy armor that wouldn't protect from one swipe of a real mans bigass sword, which this game has in spades. And to top it all off, this guy doesn't even have a name. You know what they call him? THE ONION KNIGHT. So apparently, he is a knight that DEFENDS THE NOBLE NAME OF ONIONS. WTF was Square Enix thinking when this idiot was put into the game?! Yes, the actual FF3 from Japan didn't have any named characters really just like FF1, just different jobs. And apparently, Onion Knight was one of these jobs. I wouldn't know, because I don't want to FREAKING DEFEND ONIONS. Save this jackasses' story for last, because I can assure you, you won't give a crap what happens to him. How in the world he ended up travelling the world with a hottie like Ehlana is beyond me, but then again, if a website like www.hotchickswithdouchebags.can exist, well then this idiot can pick up the babes too I guess. I've had enough, on to the scores.

Graphics - 10/10. I'm cutting through the bullcrap today. You are all aware this a handheld game, and handheld games are generally world-renowned for having mind-blowing graphics. Yes, this isn't as good looking as a PS3 or 360 or something, of course. But you can't really get much better on a handheld system, and on top of the pretty backgrounds and sweet effects for your attacks, theres an assload of cut scenes (all voiced) and other good stuff. So yeah, I did it. I went there. 10/10.

Sound - 10/10. As if there was any question what this score would be to anyone thats ever played a Final Fantasy game. The music in these games are as close to a real life symphony as you are gonna get. As a matter of fact, I've SEEN a lot of these jams performed BY a symphony, and surprise! It was incredible. It's all here. From classic stuff from the old ones by the Beethoven of video game music, Nobou Uematsu, to new stuff from FF9 and 10, its all here. Pretty decent voice acting too from everyone, Sephiroth sounds sufficiently menacing, Kefka sounds like a nutcase, etc. It all works. Get some headphones when you pick this game up and let the good times roll.

Challenge - 6/10. This game isn't hard. They have star ratings for each persons stories, but they can be largely ignored. You may get annoyed at a final boss, or you may struggle trying to get some of the (optional) secret stuff, but its nothing that you will scream in frustration at. You don't level up as fast as you should, but honestly, if you know what you are doing you may not even have to switch your attacks through the whole story. Its where the game stumbles a bit.

Fun - 7/10. And heres where else it stumbles. It gets repetitive after a while, and like I said, you don't progess as often as you should. You'll get annoyed of the same HP attacks and wonder when the hell you are gonna get any new ones. Some of the achievements are ridiculous and only for the insanely dedicated Final Fantasy fan that wants to squeeze every ounce of excitement out of this game. That isn't to say you should pass it up. A story for each hero is impressive, and even on top of the story mode, theres the arcade mode where you can enjoy being your favorite evil badass from the Final Fantasy universe. So yeah, maybe its a little repetitive, but theres so much to do it isn't a huge knock against the game.

Overall - 8/10. It stumbles in some areas, but its a beautiful game with a whole lot of replayability, a lot to see and do, and really, something for any Final Fantasy fan. Its a real showpiece for the PSP and *gasp* its actually pretty fun and has a lot to keep you coming back for more. Reason to own a PSP? No. There really hasn't ever been one. But if you own a PSP and haven't touched it in a while, blow the dust off of it, and go buy this and Crisis Core if you haven't yet.